READ: doing things is hard


i made this tweet as a joke a few days ago but as with most things said in jest there is a lot of truth to it. if you do something that doesn’t work you’ve gotta do something else, if you do something that does work you’ve gotta replicate that outcome or think of an entirely new thing to do to get that same fix. thats a lot of doing and a lot of things.

so what exactly have i been doing? a lot, and yes it has been hard but hey nobody said that life was easy and life is the constant state of doing things.

i guess the biggest news is that i’ve thrown my hat in the podcasting ring. last time i gave it a shot was as a part of lessondary radio and while that lived in a few really dope incarnations this time i’ve gone at it wholly alone. I’ve honestly had a blast doing it because i really like talking to people. i just like talking in general, it’s fun. that sounds really simple but you’d be shocked how many people don’t like to talk. i’m still figuring things out but having a new outlet has been flat-out therapeutic and even altered the way that i think. i’m willing to go a step further and say that it’s even made me a better listener and i wasn’t too shabby to begin with.

musically i’m still recovering from don speaks and by recovering i mean figuring out what’s next. tanya morgan secured a record deal and booking agent which means a new project and shows are on the horizon. this leaves a lot of space for me to figure out my solo act. i’ve got a few ideas that i haven’t fully taken the temperature on but at the base of each is one word, subscription. exploring sustainability as an artist with no true support system has led me to thinking that it’s probably the way to go. we’ll talk about that some other time as i’m still rolling it around in my mind and i need to bounce the ideas off a flesh and blood human being first.

i also get to figure out the shape of the music which is fun. i guess sound is a better word to use but the word shape just sounded better, which is exactly what i mean by figuring out the shape of the music. i feel like i’m finally ready to trust myself to produce for myself which is a huge and terrifying step. it’s not like i haven’t produced myself  before but i definitely haven’t committed to it the same way that i’ve committed to working with other artists. i haven’t really released anything but i’ve been making beats and writing verses here and there as well as collecting thoughts and ideas. that’s usually how the gestation period of any project i undertake goes for me and honestly it’s how things in general go. i have to become mentally prepared by thinking things over completely before i start. for example, i moved the furniture around in my apt recently and it took me a solid week of thinking before i did it. that night alone i sat for about probably an hour just looking at the space and mentally preparing for the work. it definitely made the task a lot easier and as we’ve already established, doing things is hard.

did i mention that hard can be a synonym for rewarding? oh, i probably should have mentioned that but i didn’t feel like i needed to. we all know that anything worth having requires work and when hard doesn’t equate to rewarding it’s usually a lesson which is a different type of reward all together.

so yeah doing things is indeed hard but have you tried doing nothing? it’s absolutely excruciating and there is little to no reward which actually makes “hard work” the easy way. i don’t know about you but i’m kinda lazy so i’d prefer that instead…

wait, what? okay. is anybody as confused as i am now?

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